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August 28, 2012

Bic’s Cristal pens for women lead to hilarious product reviews on Amazon

portrait of a redhaired girl by Samuel Silva done entirely in Bic pens, presumably the ones made for men

Worldwide stationery manufacturing giant Bic is being widely ridiculed for their woman-only pens on

The Bic Cristal for Her pens were launched last year, but recent comments have sparked more comical responses from the public. To date, there are 141 reviews spanning 14 pages.

Bic’s product website identifies that the tinted barrel is thinner for a better handling by women, designed and manufactured with ‘just the right amount of raw materials’ to work for its estimated writing length of two kilometers.

One Amazon reviewer named breemeup informs that she is writing from her kitchen. “Finally!” she says, “For years I’ve had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever). I had despaired of ever being able to write down said recipes in a permanent matter, though my men-folk assured me that I “shouldn’t worry yer pretty little head”. But, AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic!”

Reviewer Rachel writes for her concern for male users of the product. “The ‘for her’ label is not just a gimmick exploiting archaic gender constructs, it’s a WARNING,” she writes. “Even if you’re a boy who likes pastels and glitter (which really I don’t see why you shouldn’t, what kind of moron thinks that only girls would like that kind of thing? seems kind of backwards to me) this pen is NOT for you. I don’t know why they didn’t put a clearer warning on the label, they really should have because if you are a boy and use this pen you put yourself at great risk. My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one, and my friend told me that a boy in her class grew fairy wings in the middle of a test.”

Ray Couch says that pens aren’t for women in his subject line. “I am so amazed that BIC is making this. The last thing we need are women writers. Pens were made for men. Hell, we’re the ones with a PENis. If a woman has something to say, tell a man, if its important enough to remember, we will write it down for you. That’s the way its always been, and that’s the way it should stay.”

My little brother turned into a unicorn after I lent him one…

Ms KT Lenton From Devon, UK showed distress through her review. “Seriously, I am completely shocked there was no health warning on the side,” she laments. “I picked these up in my local Smiths, just in a hurry to grab some new biros for my husband and not really paying attention to the packet. Within 2 weeks of him using them my husband was wearing stylish clothes, writing poetry, noticing how nice my hair is and wanting to hug and talk about feelings all the time. I just can’t cope with it and now his mates have disowned him too. To top it all off he has just been banned from our local football ground for stealing used football shirts so that he could wash the stains out. I have switched him back to normal ‘manly’ pens now but I fear he may never recover. It’s just not what you expect from innocently using a biro and I hope that this product will carry a health warning very soon.”

Graves from Pennsylvania, USA points out a design issue. “My problem is most of the time, they are just fine, the standard good quality BALL point that has made Bic the go-to company but I’m finding they just don’t work maybe 1 week in 4. What is going on? Is this a design flaw? A problem with the ink? Has anyone else discovered this? Any ideas? I just can’t understand it.”

I bought these pens for my wife…but she used these for no more than two days before she sprained her uterus.

Adrienne from New Mexico shares a tragic experience. “I bought these pens for my wife. I assumed they would be safe for her since they are specifically for ladies but she used these for no more than two days before she sprained her uterus.”

Dewey’s concern is politically-based. “This is how it starts. First they get pens. They they want the right to vote, and drive cars. It’s a slippery slope people. You may think they are just a writing instrument, but no they are not. They are social revolution in a little tube of plastic.”

Screenwriter Morgan is the only reviewer who seems to be defending Bic in this bitter customer uprising. “Enough, already!” he rants. “The engineers at Bic spent years determining the necessary requirements for creating a ballpoint pen that was strong enough for a man, yet made for a woman. Bic literally invested millions of dollars on creating a writing implement for a woman that could provide elegant refinement in every stroke of each letter, yet could also fend off an attack by some misogynistic woman-hater who might happen upon her. Yet, for all of their effort, Bic seems to warrant nothing more than some small-minded reviews by people who don’t understand the deep and abiding respect that Bic has for its female customers. Shame, people — shame.”


About the Author

Evon Koprowski
Brand storyteller, creative strategist, content marketer and all round bon vivant at Red Fortune Media where I growth hack projects for the arts, culture, tourism, technology and social sectors. I'm freelance - if I can help you, get in touch.


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